You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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