i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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