I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
