I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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