I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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