i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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