hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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