She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
