I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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