I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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