Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.