If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?