he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
