No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
