planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
