I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
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Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
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I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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