He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Randomize
