I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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