I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
