is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
