Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
