idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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