At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
