I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
