Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
