Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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