i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
