Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
