That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
