Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize