I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
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