I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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