we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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