ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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