honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
