Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
