Sry I called you an 8
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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