So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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