Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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