I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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