Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
