He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
