When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
BRING THE BAGELS
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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