Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
