she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
