I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Randomize
