He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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