So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
this just has baby written all over it
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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