Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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