Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize