How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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