Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
