so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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