I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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