After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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