A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
there is puke in my bra ... again
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
