My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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