I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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