good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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