there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
