If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
